“What am I willing to fight, die and kill for, and why?"
This is the one question I ask all every participant who has
ever been on my “Introduction to Self Defence Workshop”. I further ask them to write
the question down, and answer it when they have a few moments to spare at home.
It's the one thing, above everything else I teach in my workshops that I
emphasis they are to do, and consider very carefully what they decide is the
answer. The reason for this importance is because all subsequent self defence
tactics and techniques thereafter, will depend on what they are willing to
fight, die and kill for.
Let’s explore this question a bit deeper:
What are you willing to fight for? Humans only fight for two
reasons: Firstly, for the survival/protection of ourselves or our loved one(s).
This survival mechanism stems back to prehistoric times, where we had to fight
to survive the elements and the wilderness to which we inhabited. From a
scientific perspective, this refers to the brain stem (old brain) that controls
the survival mechanisms of flight or fight. For some, the reaction is to flee a
potential hazard (flight), for other, the response is to fight (reason number
1). It is instinctual, and is connected to the way we react to danger. However,
this instinct also gets triggered in another way - we have a perceived danger/threat confront
us. Sometimes, the threat may be the passing of a sarcastic comment; or a sudden lane-change into our lane by
another car, or even by a snobbish glance or smirk in our direction by a ruffian
at a bar. Whatever the perceived threat is, it is more the fight-reaction we
get, not because it threatens our survival, but rather because it threatens our
personal ego – this is reason number 2. In my opinion, the decision to fight in
either of these circumstances is your choice to make, but you need to ask if it
is a fight that you would really want to get involved in.
What are you willing to die for? This refers to self-sacrifice
and the people and things that you would be willing to put your life at risk for.
For some, when I said "things” in my previous sentence, it might have made
you feel a bit unconformable, and you may even have shook your head in
disagreement. Is there possibly any "thing" (in terms of material possession)
that you would be willing to put your life on the line for? As horrific as this
might sound, there are indeed some things that you may decide is worth
sacrificing your life for. An example? How about an extreme one? You are at home and there is a life support
machine that sustains the life of your sick spouse. Would you be willing to lay
your life down for that machine if something were to threaten it? Makes you
think doesn’t it? The point here is that
there is no right or wrong answer. We all have the greatest gift that is often
overlooked- the right to choose. With that said though, hospitals and cemeteries
are filled with people that made bad choices, but the fact remains, it is/was
within their right to choose what was right or wrong for them.
What are you willing to kill for? This is the most consequential and
controversial question to answer. Back in prehistoric times again, the cave man
would kill their fellow kind for food, shelter and mates. Oh wait, that happens
now too! However, with the advancement of human civilization, we have also
begun to dictate that some pervious prehistoric methods are no longer favourable
or even legal (although that does not stop the many criminal out there). What
we are willing to kill for is again something that we have to decide upon,
which has no right or wrong answer to the individual, but has more sever
consequence to it. For instance, should you find yourself in a situation where
you have to take another human being's life, there is what I call "surviving
the SLY", as a reference to surviving the Situation, surviving the Law and
surviving Yourself. Surviving the situation implies you need to survive the immediate
treat that has come your way in the most effective and efficient manner you can,
even if this means taking another’s life. Surviving the law pertains to the
legal repercussions you will have to face after taking someone life. You will
need to answer to the laws of your land for your actions and let them be the
decider as to whether you had acted lawfully or not. Lastly, surviving yourself
- you will have to live with the knowledge that you had killed someone. For
good-fearing Christian, this might be seen as devastating since they would have
to had had broken one the Ten Commandments as dictated by the Bible. For
others, being labelled a killer may not be the most appealing, but it is
something that will stick to you like a fly on a sticky-trap-rolls.
Then there is the WHY? For a long time this question eluded
me. Then it dawned upon me through a flash-back session with one of my past
coaches. "The quality of your answers lies in the quality of the questions
you ask", he reminded me. The “why”, therefore, is probably the biggest and most elusive one
that many self defence courses have failed to ask. Why would you be willing to
fight, die and kill for X (x being what you have just answered in the 3
questions above)? Why is it so important to you? Why would NOT fighingt for, or
dying for or killing for X be so tragic for you? It is a question that, if answered
truthfully, will surprise or even shock you. The key here is to be absolutely
truthful when answering this question. What you might conclude (as I had) is
that the real reason why you are willing to do all these things for X, is
because of how the loss of X will make YOU feel, and how it would affect YOUR
life!
I stress again that there is no right or wrong to these
questions. It is more important that you
make these the decision while you are in a rational and logical state of mind. Unfortunately,
it is often those times that we let our emotional state at the heat-of-the-moment
that makes us do irrational and possible life-debilitating choices.
So, take the time now, while you are sitting comfortably at
your desk, in a secure and safe environment to answer these 4 questions. Decide
what is it EXACTLY is it that you would be willing to fight, die and kill for,
and why. Once done, make multiple copies of it and hang it around the areas
that you will see it each and every day. Be constantly reminded as to what you had
decided, and only get involved if something threatens the people and/or things
you have put on this list.
Till next time. I hope this message educates and empowers
you, allowing you to live a positive and engaged life!
Warren Ho
Founder of Defence Unlimited
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